Wait

Khessya let her feet guide her without aim along the river bank. The wind playing with her hair, tall grass brushing her fingers.

Balmorra had changed a lot since she had last been here. It was still bearing the scars of a strenuous occupation followed by a brutal invasion but it was on the mend. And it was beautiful.

It felt strange to be back but it felt right. Balmorra had been a turning point in her life. It had been her first public victory in the name of the Order and the Republic. But more than anything, it was where she had met Zenith.

She missed her silent brooding friend. She missed his unforgiving opinions, his stubborn yet reasonable mind, his comfortably quiet support. She missed her friend at a time she needed him the most.

Theron’s disappearance had turned her whole world upside down and it took her totally by surprise. Not so much how much she cared for him but how much she needed him.

She let her mind wander as she watched the sunlight dance above the water, reminiscing on time spent together, of all the little things she loved about the two men who had ended up taking so much room in her heart. One she called her brother, the other her lover. The only two beings she had ever trusted.

She allowed a smile to lighten her face for a moment. Despite the pain of their absence, she just knew. Deep in her heart and soul she knew that one day they would be back. And she would be waiting for them.

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Highway

Drive.
Keep driving.
Drive until the tears dry and the pain is left behind.
Drive.
Drive forward.
Drive until your soul is lost and your heart is appeased.
Drive.
Drive faster.
Drive until memories fade and the world becomes a blur.
Drive.
Driver forever.
Drive until the sun dies and your reach the edge of the earth.
Drive.
Keep driving.
Drive until all is left behind and only emptiness awaits.

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Midnight

Beware the witching hour
When the wildest dreams come true
And the impossible comes to life.
Beware the time where the realms
Know no limit nor boundaries
And all lines are blurred.
The time where magic roams free,
Unleashed in all its glory.
Beware the midnight moon
And her shifting whims.
Beware the wicked stars
And their deceiving light.
Beware the moving shadows
And the silent darkness
Calling you out in the soft breeze.
Beware the secret song of the night
Luring you into the treacherous safety
Of the witching hour.

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Promise

I’m sorry. I am so very sorry, my love.

For all the pain I’m about to inflict on the galaxy. For this impossible choice I have to make. Despite it all, I still trust they will know I did what I thought was best but more than anything, I trust that you will remind them should they forget.

I told you once, a lifetime ago, that I would sleep when I’m dead. I didn’t expected the night would be upon me so soon. But what choice do I have?

I wish you were here with me but I am glad you’re not. Knowing you’ll keep fighting for them all, it gives me the strength to do what must be done. Bit selfish of me, I guess…

But I am so sorry, my love. For not understanding sooner how much you meant to me. For all the time we lost, being so close yet so far away. I’ve loved you from the very first day, I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to figure that out.

But above all, I am sorry for the pain I’m about to put you through. I know you can survive this. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. Keep fighting for them, my love, for us, for me…  I know you can. You will get through this, tall and strong as ever, I swear on everything I hold sacred that you will.

I promised you I would never give up. That I would fight until my very last breath. I hope you know I did. I hope you know I count on you to do the same. To keep fighting. To keep living…

The truth is, my love, that I am not sure I’m making the right decision. I’m letting my instincts guide me, the way I told you you should that day you faced your own demons. The time has come for me to face mine and while you are miles away from me, you are here with me. The way you always are, the way you promised me you would be. I couldn’t do this without you, my love.

It pains me that in all the certainty of my own future, I do not know what comes next for you. But whatever happens, whatever you do, the day will come when we meet again. I’ll be waiting for you in that bar up there and the first drinks will be on me. It’s a promise.

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Temptation

“Oh, come on, Aly! Don’t be such a killjoy, it’s a beautiful day.” Bethany grabbed her hand and pulled her further down the path leading to the clearing. “We’re having a picnic and there is no moping allowed!”

Alyssa rolled her eyes and faked a smile. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. That she shouldn’t be here.

She shook her head. Lothering was her home so why was it feeling so foreign and unfamiliar?

“You heard Bethany, sister. No frowning allowed!”

Alyssa glared at her younger brother. “He says as he frowns…”

Carver shrugged and Alyssa struggled to keep smiling. Something was definitely wrong. It wasn’t like Carver to avoid a fight with her. And she still couldn’t shake the feeling they shouldn’t be here. None of them. That Carver and her had gone their different ways and Bethany… Something cold and heavy suddenly dropped from her throat to her stomach. Something had happened to Bethany. Something terrible. But what? And how?

“Oh look!” Bethany’s joyful voice interrupted her train of thoughts. “Everyone is here already!”

Alyssa blinked a couple times before taking in the scene in front of her. All her friends were there. Aveline and Wesley sitting together in deep conversation, Anders sitting a bit aside from the others and playing with a small animal, probably a cat. Varric and Fenris playing cards around a bottle of wine while Merrill was braiding daisies into Isabela’s hair.

It was… disconcerting. To say the least. Everyone seemed to be lazily enjoying some quiet, relaxing time. It was perfect. A little too perfect!

“Careful, Hawke!” Another voice full of laughter interrupting her thoughts, Varric’s this time. “You don’t want that frown to become permanent or you’ll end up like Broody here!”

“Haha! Very funny, dwarf!” Fenris tapped the ground next to him. “Why aren’t you joining us, Hawke?”

Alyssa slowly started making her way to the group, focusing. As lovely as this all seemed, it was wrong. It wasn’t like her friends to sit all together so peacefully. Isabela was too quiet, Anders wasn’t angry enough, and Fenris… The last time Fenris had spoken to her was when he had fled her bedroom after their first night together. She paused as her heart skipped a beat. That was three days ago. In her mansion in Kirkwall.

Varric raised an eyebrow at her and laughed. “What’s wrong, Hawke? Don’t tell me you’ve gotten shy now!”

“Me? Shy?? Don’t kid yourself Varric! I’ll grow shy the day you’ll grow a beard!” She took another step as the pieces slowly started to fit together.

Carver had become a Grey Warden, fighting darkspawn away from Ferelden. Away from the Free Marches. And Wesley had died of the blight all those years ago when Lothering… When Lothering had been destroyed. Her heart skipped another beat. Bethany had died that day too. The memory of her broken, bloodied body in their mother’s arms flashed before her eyes.

Alyssa closed her eyes as the memory of another broken body came back to haunt her. Mother.

She opened her eyes as she felt the world shifting around her. Her friends disappeared one by one until she and Varric stood alone, facing each other in the ever-shifting Fade.

“Why are you doing this?”

“What’s wrong, Hawke?” Each words sounding less and less like her friend. “You don’t like what I’m offering you?”

Alyssa gritted her teeth. “What do you want from me?”

“Wrong question, Hawke!” Varric’s shape slowly started to blur leaving room for someone, something, else. “I’m more interested in what you may want from me!

An hesitation. A hateful moment of hesitation before she managed to strengthen her resolve. “Nothing!” A shout, filled with despair. “There’s nothing I want from you, demon!”

The being in front of her tried cajoling her. “Nothing? Are you sure, Hawke? I could make all your desires come true, you know…”

Alyssa clenched her fists, fighting the urge to see that perfect picture of happiness again. “Nothing!” She focused on her magic. She was stuck in the Fade, asleep after the worst day of her life. She needed to get out of there but the demon in front of her would not let her go without a fight. She knew that.

She focused her will until her head hurt, ready to strike with all the might of her sorrow. The demon laughed as a ball of fire engulfed it and suddenly…

Alyssa woke up with a start. Her heart racing in her chest, her skin covered in cold sweat. She sat on the bed, tears racing down on her face. There is nothing you can tempt me with, demon. I have already lost it all…

 

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Silk

It didn’t feel right. Nothing about this felt right. Nothing.

This isn’t me. The thought haunted her as she tried to stop herself from pacing down the hall. This isn’t who I am.

Khessya took a deep breath, trying to find her ever-escaping inner peace. She wanted to be done with this but each passing second seemed to stretch for an eternity.

She tried to focus but everything was so distracting. She had never felt so out of place and that was saying a lot.

She resisted the urge to pull the sash of her dress, reminding herself for the hundredth time that she wasn’t wearing her usual leathers but a delicate entanglement of silk and embroidery. She sighed as the memories of endless arguments about this dress flooded her mind. It somehow felt like the hardest battle she ever fought, and the Force knew she had fought many.

Really, this was everything but her.

The distant sound of footsteps reached her as she took another deep breath to block out the muffled sound coming from the other side of the door. She closed her eyes as it grew closer and closer. Please don’t let it be Indo! Anyone but Indo!

She let out a small sigh as she realized those footsteps didn’t sound like Indo at all. They were heavier, more determined. And much more familiar. “Hey there!”

She opened her eyes, turned around and smiled. Of all the anyone she could have wished for right now, he was the best she could have hoped for.

“Theron! Everything alright?”

He returned her smile as he tucked a rebellious stray of hair behind her ear. “Everything is going according to plan. I just came to make sure you were ready to make your great entrance. And that you weren’t tearing the whole place apart.”

Khessya rolled her eyes at him. “Honestly? I probably would have if it wasn’t for that blasted dress!”

Theron chuckled. “Thought as much.” He wrapped her hand in his and took a step back. “Although I must say, you look amazing.”

Khessya frowned. “I hate it, I can’t wait to get out of this… thing! This is just-” A thundering sound coming from the other side of the door cut her short.

Theron took a step towards her and squeezed her hand. “Sounds like it’s time for you to shine. Go and dazzle them. Be their Empress. Be who they need you to be for just one more moment. I’ll be waiting here and I promise-” He took another step forwards, his voice turning into a whisper. “I will make it my duty to help you out of that dress as soon as I possibly can.”

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[SWTOR] Stolen Moment

Khessya-Theron

And now you lie sound asleep in my arms
Quiet as a cool summer breeze
Trusting and at peace
While a hurricane tears my world apart
Defying my resolve
Challenging my soul to its core
Shattering the walls I built around my heart
And I realize
My world will never be the same
Your shimmering light turned it brighter
Remembrance of everything I am fighting for
A world worth dying for
A love worth living for.

~*~*~

The gorgeous artwork up there is by the amazingly talented @Glorfinniell, make sure to pass by her DeviantART and give her some love there 😊

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