Looking back…

… over my shoulder.

2016 has come and gone and 2017 has started settling in nicely and I find myself needing to take a look back before taking a deep breath and stepping in into whatever the future weeks have in store for me.

The last year has been… quite a challenge. The tough, painful, frightening kind. But it wasn’t without a few silver linings and a couple of bright shining spots that I’m doing my best to focus on.

But there’s no escaping March 22nd, 2016, 9:11 am. There will never be. The harsh, brutal reminder of how frail and short life is. People died a few meters away from me, in a place I walk by every day. A few hours earlier and I could have been one of them. It took me a while to accept the fact I wasn’t one of them. I’ll never forget the terror I felt that day. I’ll never forget how grateful I felt hearing birds singing the next morning…

But from that dark moment, one of my darkest moments, stemmed something I haven’t completely figured out yet. And for once I’m letting myself go with the flow, trying not to overthink it all, or at least not too much.

This blog is one of these things. It started as a way for me to simply ramble somewhere. It’s slowly turning into something else. I still don’t really know what but in an atypical move for me, I’m willing to just let it happen and see how it goes.

And my rambles led me to writing again. Anything, everything that would cross my mind. Little blurbs, little stories, fan fiction, and more. Oh, how I’ve missed it!

And then there’s been Star Wars: The Old Republic. The SWTOR community on Twitter to be more precise, the #swtorfamily, people I could share my enjoyment of the game with. Without shame. Without judgement.

SWTOR has always been the odd one out among my games. In life or games, I’m a loner. I’m the one silently studying the cracks in the walls at a party where everyone is loudly socializing. I’m the one who’d rather stay home with a book than go out. I’m the one happy to do my own thing in a game everyone is playing together. So for two years I’d been more than happy playing SWTOR either on my own or with my dad and I saw no reason for a change.

But then came the random invitation to group up for a couple of flashpoints on Twitter. The one I answered with a “sure, why not” instead of my usual “no, thanks.” The one that was renewed a week later with two other players joining in the fun. The one that ended up with “let’s create a guild!” And so we did, and I have no regrets!

Because it’s a beautiful thing we’re building. A place for players who feel like they don’t fit the typical MMORPG mold, a place for people to have fun playing the game without requirements or pressure. From the start I’ve been overwhelmed with the amount of people willing to join us, humbled by the feedback we’ve received and so, so grateful for the amazing people I’ve met along the way.

So here’s to 2017 being better than 2016, to hearing birds singing as the sun rises after a rainy day, to more stories waiting to be written and to more adventures both here and in a galaxy far, far away…

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About Celyn

Heavy dreamer, lover of stories, obsessive gamer, voracious reader, music addict, and worshipper of the color black. I ramble, I rant, I overthink things, I dream out loud, I swear, I overuse smilies and abuse ellipses. You have been warned...
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One Response to Looking back…

  1. ethu says:

    Here’s to more positives and that we may always see them 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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